Genesis/Farrah

First being released, all Farrah could do was lie there, frozen in shock, fear, and loathing. She absolutely hated herself and what she had asked for. It wasn't a sober decision, but alcohol shouldn't let her get off of the hook either. The moment Zack moved away from her, she darted toward the bathroom she saw attatching to his room, desperately hoping she could reach the toilet in time to dispose of the contents that lay in her stomach. It had nothing to do with the high levels of alcohol in her system, but instead the guilt taht had engulfed her and began to tear her apart. After vomiting a few times, and dryheaving several times after, Farrah sank to the floor, pulling her legs up to her chest and hugging them closely to her body. There was only one word that could describe how she was feeling and that was hatred. Honestly, she wasn't aware of how she would come out of this situation. She didn't love Zack, this was casual drunken and desperate sex. How on earth was she going to face Genesis in the morning? She couldn't even face herself. Silently she began tearing up, but that didn't last long because the loud racking sobs claimed its hold on her in a matter of seconds. God..What the fuck was wrong with her?

Zack sighed in frustration, remaining on the bed for several more minutes. What was he going to tell Genesis? He closed his eyes thinking, hating himself, before he pushed himself off the bed. He grabbed a pair of blue and black checkered boxers off the hardwood floor and pulled them on, then reached for one of his t-shirts and walked to the bathroom and pulled it over Farrah's head before slumping down against the sink with her, wrapping one arm around her stomach, the other around her back. Trying to make her feel safe as he pulled her onto his lap and tucked her head against his shoulder and neck. Even if they had both made a horrible, horrible decision. He didn't want Farrah to feel like he used her. He didn't want her to feel alone. He cared for her, not like this, but he did care for her. "Shh." He whispered, running his hands lightly over her hair. He didn't want to see her crying. The situation sucked for both of them, they had both hurt themselves and people close to them with this. But he was going to try to salvage what he could.

At the sound of Zack's bare feet padding against the bathroom tiles, she immediately began to think that he was going to kick her out, make her leave and get her the fuck away. He could easily deny that he was the one she had gotten involved with if he chose to, either way, she was a terrible girlfriend and she didn't deserve Genesis to be in her life. He was far too good to her and look what she had done - gone out and fucked his best friend on a whim. Pushing her arms through the sleeves of Zack's t-shirt, Farrah curled up in his lap, clinging onto him for dear life. She didn't want to be close to him in this way, she didn't want to have a sexual relationship with him, but she did want to be friends, and a friend was exactly what she needed at the moment. She had no idea where she could turn, but she supposed since Zack had fucked up the same way she had, they were able to go to one another for that. "I'm a w-whore." She was finally able to choke out, struggling immensely as another wave of sobs took its turn with her. "He's g-oing to ha-ate me." She wailed, hitting the floor with her fist before recoiling and bringing it up to her stomach. "Fuck!" she shouted, burying her face against his chest in both pain and embarassment.

Zack was a whore, but he was nice about it. He never told a girl to leave after sex, most of the ones he picked up didn't want a place to stay though so they did leave. "You're not a whore, Farrah." Zack assured, rubbing her back firmly. "You're not a whore." He repeated. He didn't want her to think that, he didn't think that of her. "I'm a whore. We're both drunk. You're hurt and upset on top of that. It doesn't lead to much good descion making." His words were heartfelt, but a little slurred. He was going to take care of her while she was here, he'd do anything in the world to make her feel better. He didn't want her to self destruct over this, to hate herself. "C'mon. Let's go get in bed." He said softly, as he slipped his arms around her and clumisly stumbled to his feet, amazingly managed to stay balanced and hold Farrah as he walked across the clothes scattered floor and laid Farrah down on his bed, taking a place next to her after grabbing some cover and pulling it over both of them. He didn't know if she wanted to sleep now or talk but he knew it'd be more comfortable on the bed.

It wasn't long after they were lying in bed that Zack's skin was soaked, and this time with Farrah's tears versus the sweat prior to her breakdown. She absolutely hated herself and she wanted nothing more than to do something about it. She wanted to drink more, she wanted to cut, she wanted something, anything, to numb this fucked up mess. "He's the single best thing that's ever happened to me, Zack.. I can't. I mean.. He can't leave. Can't." She insisted in a frenzied panic. The thought of not having Genesis to curl up to at night, cuddle with, talk things through and look out for her was the most terrifying thing she could possible imagine. She would much rather endure a lifetime of Jason's beatings than to completely strike out with Genesis. Shaking her head quickly she glanced up at Zack's face in the darkened room. "I'm sorry..I'm so sorry.." She murmured, curling up as closely as she could next to him and burying her face into the pillows. She literally wanted to die. Death would be so much better than what would come the next morning. She had no idea how she would be able to sleep tonight, and she didn't know how she could find the strength to get into her car and go home in a matter of hours.

Zack hated himself more than Farrah could ever possible could of hated herself. Zack and Genesis had been friend's for years. They grew up together, they did everything with each other. Apparently Farrah now fell into that catagory too. Thoughts of every variety were coursing through his head. "Darling. Genesis loves you more than anything. He's not going to leave you." Zack tried to assure. He couldn't say that Genesis would ever forgive him, but he had never seen Genesis fall so hard for a girl, he was almost certain that in a little bit of time, he'd write her a pass for this one. He was scared of what would happen though between him and Genesis. He was sure he was going to get his ass kicked, and he deserved every ounce of that. "Just get some sleep alright?" He tried to soothe, pulling her close to him and continuing to rub her back. He knew it was going to be hard to deal with the consequences of tonight.

How was she going to be able to sleep after a night that was so incredibly horrible? Sure if she could get past the fact that she was unfaithful, it could be appreciated that Zack was an incredible fuck, but who gave a shit about that right now? Farrah had just ruined two relationships: one long-term friendship, and then the close knit bond that she and Genesis held. Things had looked up until she had gotten so incredibly worked up over the children situation, but honestly she overreacted on that being it was just a day after the anniversary of her mother's passing which had a lot to do with her actions, but again shouldn't hold any excuse for her sloppy behaviour. "Zack..I really am sorry.." She whispered, snuggling in closer and wrapping her arms around him tightly. It was one thing to break it off with Genesis, it was a completely different level of guilt that she had broken up a good friendship between the two men. "I want to take it back.." she whispered, her words slightly muffled due to the fact that her face was now pressed against his arm.

"Don't apoligze. It's just as much my fault as it is yours." Zack stated, running his hand lightly up and down her spine. He needed something to hold onto just as much as Farrah needed someone to hold her right now, and Zack wasn't a cuddler. He was scared shitless and worried, but he was doing his best to conceal that. He didn't want to work Farrah up more than she already was. He was still her friend, even with the situation at hand, he wanted to make her feel safe and protected. "I want to take it back too, but we can't. Things will be okay though, I promise. I'll make sure they are. I won't let you get hurt." Zack said burying his head in her hair. He would take all the blame here, he wouldn't let Farrah lose Genesis over his whoreish ways. She loved him and he loved her. He fucked up. He couldn't let his best friend loose the girl he loved, and mess up a friend's life to keep Genesis as a friend. Gen was like a brother to Zack but Farrah needed him more.

Zack's tone broke her heart. He was resigned, upset, and she wasn't certain what other emotions he was feeling right now, but Farrah knew he was going to try his best to keep his word to her. Even though he would try to fix things with Genesis, Farrah wasn't going to let all the blame rest on Zack's shoulders. She asked for him to fuck her, she initiated things, and that wasn't something she could easily overlook. It was touching though, hearing that Zack would take the beating for her mistake, for their mistake, and it made her feel loved. It wasn't a romatnic feeling, no warm and fuzzy tingles lay in her belly, but it did make her feel safe, like she had someone she could rely on. Gingerly moving his hands, Farrah turned to face Zack, gazing at him for a long moment before reaching up to kiss him gently. The kiss wasn't a sexual gesture - it was far from that. It was kind and loving, the sort of kiss she would give a brother or best friend, the sort she gave anyone who mattered to her. "Thank you." She whispered, nuzzling him gently. How Farrah would be able to express how much it had meant to her that he was still her friend wasn't something that would come easy, but she would be finding a way - even if it was a tiny way - to try and make it up to him.

Zack sighed softly, still upset with himself. "No problem, baby." He replied, returning the same type of kiss to Farrah's forehead. He tended to use pet names, more so when he himself was worried about something, he thought it made girls feel more at ease. "Go to sleep. You're safe and everything will be okay. I'll make sure it is. Don't worry about Genesis. I'll talk to him. He'll still love you." Zack whispered quietly, pulling the blankets tightly around her and laying one of his legs over hers. This was his fault. He took the bait, he drank more so he could do it. He could of told Farrah no when she asked. He could of stopped things and went and slept in the other room, he could of prevented this. Instead he encouraged it. He knew Farrah was doing it out of frustration but he did it anyway, and he hated that he enjoyed it most of all. He couldn't let Farrah take the fall for this one. He'd deal with whatever Genesis threw at him, possibly literally.

Farrah pulled the blankets up to her chin, trying to settle in and become cozy in the foreign bed and find a brief amount of sleep. She knew it would be even more hectic tomorrow if she showed up at home with no sleep, and as everyone knew, people were much more cranky or emotional when they were sleep deprived. Sighing quietly, she allowed herself to close her eyes, willing herself to find sleep in her frenzied state. Perhaps she would wake up the next morning and things wouldn't be as bad as they seemed. She was never a religious woman, but she took it upon herself at the moment to say a little prayer. It wasn't like it could hurt anything anyhow. Things were a mess as it was, praying to a man she didn't know for a fact existed hardly seemed like it would have dire consequences. "Goodnight." She said softly, turning over to where she was no longer facing Zack but close enough to still feel the warmth from his body next to hers. She wanted to be close, just not as close as she had been the entire night.

"Goodnight." Zack mumbled against her neck, an arm wrapped snugly around her waist. His voice was distant as his mind was on other matters. Trying to think of how he was going to tell Genesis he fucked his girlfriend. How he was going to be able to work with him again. Look at his face, knowing how bad he had hurt him. He finally dozed off to sleep, but he didn't sleep well. It was a light sleep, where he almost wasn't asleep. He was still faintly aware of everything going on. He woke up at every little twitch in Farrah's sleep, any change in her breathing, any time she moved her head the smallest amount. He was going to take care of her and this problem. He woke up fully several times, taking a look around the room each time and seeing nothing but the shadows of objects before he fell right back asleep. He awoke the next morning, unaware what had happened the night before for a few peaceful seconds before the harsh reality came crashing down. He just laid there though, wanting to be able to put this off as long as he could.

Farrah was able to sleep throughout the night, but during that time her dreaming was nothing but one nightmare after the next. It flipped from her telling Genesis about last night's trip to Zack's bedroom and Genesis beating the shit out of her, to Genesis falling apart and blaming himself for everything. She was certain that the second one wasn't farfetched if he chose to stay in a relationship with her. Each of her problems revolved around some old personal rift and he happend to be consumed by guilt at not being able to mend each little hole that had been beaten into her from various people. She woke, shooting straight up and gasping for breath as if the fact that someone choked her in her dream was reality. After a second, Farrah realized that everything was fine, at least as fine as they could be, and she was safe and sound in Zack's bed. As she concentrated on breathing, she scratched her neck, realizing that it was itching a tremendous amount. Casting a glance down, she realized that it was just anxiety, and the rash that would creep up at times was now in full swing. She looked hideous, what with the rash and various marks left on her from the night before, but what was done was done, and things were going to have to be spilled today.

Zack jumped up as soon as Farrah did. Worried that maybe something else had happened. "What's wrong, baby?" He questioned as he reached out for her. "What's up with your neck?" He asked, softly runnning his hand on the rash that had formed. "I'm sorry. I shaved yesterday, I didn't think it'd scratch up your neck." Thinking it may of been from stubble, not like a little bit of stubble burn was worse than all the hickies he had left on her which looked worse now than they had the night before. "I'm gonna go call Gen. There's food in the fridge if you want breakfast." He wasn't sure if she was up for breakfast but he grabbed his phone and stepped out into the guest room deciding it would be better to go ahead and get everything over with. Zack heavy-heartily dialed Genesis's number waiting a few seconds and staring at his phone with regret before hitting the call button. It rang several times before a tired, and worried filled voice answered on the other end. "Hello? Zack? Where's Farrah? Is she okay?" Genesis' questioned shakily on the other end. Zack inhaled sharply before he started to speak speaking. "I fucked up Genesis. I'm sorry."

Farrah glanced at him with an odd expression for a moment as he seemed to think that the rash was from something he had done. Shaking her head, she decided to lay back against the bed, placing her arm over her eyes to avoid the sunight that bore into the bedroom. Her head was killing her, but she was certain it was from clenching her teeth rather than the liquor. "Anxiety.. I get it every now and then when I worry so much." She murmured, reaching for Zack's hand blindly and lacing her fingers though his. She wanted to know things were alright, that everything wasn't so horrible as to having him hate her now that Zack had had time to think. Feeling him release her grip and move from the bed, she peeked over at him, watching his figure dart into the other room, phone in hand. Nausea hit her like a ton of bricks, knowing that the only thing he could possibly be doing was calling Genesis. There was no way she could eat breakfast even if she wanted to, and if she had managed to put something in her stomach, it was bound to come back the way it came in a matter of minutes.

"What do you mean?" An already heartbroken Genesis asked from the other line. "What'd you do to her?!" Followed it, this time anger took up some of his voice as well. "I had sex with her. I'm so sorry Ge--." Zack was cut short by a slur of obscenities coming from the other end. "I know. I deserve all that. I was drunk when she got here, I hardly knew it was her. I kept drinking though. I forgot who she was. I'm so sorry. So sor-" Zack continued in a defeated tone. "Sorry doesn't fucking fix it. I love her! You fucking forced yourself on her. You hurt her!" Genesis screamed on the other side of the phone. Zack paused for a moment, not sure how to combat that, he didn't want Genesis to know Farrah was so willing, but he didn't want him to think he forced her. "Gen, she was drunk too. You know she never would of done that otherwise. But you guys gotta talk about some stuff." Zack said as calmly as he could manage. "But please. just. this is my fault, not hers. Let her go on this. She loves you. She's been sick and sobbing because she's so worried about what you'll do. It's my fault, Gen." He added.

Climbing from bed, Farrah began to find her clothes that had been strewn across the bedroom the night before, dressing quickly and as quietly as she could. It was then that the noticed just how well Zack had marked her up from the night before, as well as his pair of magical handcuffs, mind you. She was certain that it would tear Genesis apart to see each individual mark left on her body by another man, especially when that man was his best friend. Closing her eyes for a brief second, she tried to focus on how to apologize to Zack before she left, and then what sort of confrontation she would be getting from a broken Genesis. Biting her lip, she slipped quietly into the doorway of the guest room and tried to listen a little less discreetly than the muffled noises she could hear coming from the second room while she had been getting dressed and trying to look as decent as she could after a rough night. She knew she wouldn't be staying here much longer, and she would leave with a quick hug and a long apology to Zack for making a mess for the both of them. She couldn't let Zack catch all the heat for this, it wasn't in her morals to lie or let someone take the blame with something was her fault.

Zack only heard a long sigh, followed by what sounded like Genesis starting to cry before Genesis hung up. Zack sighed heavily and leaned against the wall, he hated himself so much right now. He knew Farrah had marked him up only slightly less than he had her. He had scratches from her nails coating his body and a couple hickies on his neck. He was going to skip work for a while so Genesis wouldn't see them. It would crush him to see them on Farrah but it would just be a double impact if he saw them all over Zack too. Zack opened the door back to the rest of the house, a took a couple steps back, suprised to see Farrah standing right there and ran his hands through his hair akwardly, not sure what to say. He coughed akwardly, before speaking. "I uhm. I talked to Gen'. Things are gonna be okay between you two. A little rocky but they'll be okay." Zack said looking down, his hand still tangled in the long, thick mess of hair he had. "I'm sorry Farrah. I shouldn't of kept drinking and done that. I knew it was a mistake, but I did it anyway. I'm sorry." He added honestly before he reached his arms out to hug her.

Farrah's eyes darted toward the floor as she saw a defeated looking Zack standing before her. She had never seen the man look so depressed in all of the time she had known him. He was always so care free and light hearted. Smiling and teasing constantly. This was a new side of him, and quite frankly, she hated to see it. It was nice to know he could be serious, but he could be serious without something being incredibly wrong. Reaching out, Farrah wrapped her arms around his waist for a quick, tight hug. "I heard.. and please don't apologize to me Zack. I instigated the entire thing.. I didn't have to drink. I didn't have to tell you to fuck me. and I didn't have to let you put moves on me if I didn't want to. Please don't blame yourself. I was more at fault than you were." She murmured, gently pulling away from him and taking a step back. "I'm going to head home.. I'll talk to you later. We'll work it out. I'm not letting this fuck up you guys's friendship." She insisted, reaching out and giving his hand a gentle squeeze before she turned for the staircase and darted down it, scooping up her purse that was just beside the couch and then unlocking the door swiftly. Honestly it terrified her to go home, but she wanted nothing more than for Genesis to say he still loved her despite the fact that she had fucked up.

Zack followed after Farrah downstairs, but instead he stopped in the living room and reached for his pipe, shaking some weed into the end before lighting it and heading back up stairs. He was exhausted physically and emotionally, well he had gone numb, he didn't know how to deal with all the guilt he was feeling so he was choosing not too. Zack puffed out the smoke in little rings trying to get his mind to concentrate on something else. He hauled himself out of bed and went to take a shower, not before calling his girlfriend and asking her to come over. She usually helped him feel better about himself. Genesis sat in the livingroom on his couch, hurt and confused. He loved Farrah and from what he knew, she loved him as well. He didn't understand why she would sleep with Zack. A couple tears ran down the side of his face. Fuck. He told her not to go over there. He told her what would happen. He knew Zack and his intentions. God did he want a drink right now. He wanted to just drink and drink and drink until either he passed out or went numb. But he knew Farrah wouldn't want to come home to a drunken Genesis.

Farrah pulled into the parking garage, navigating her way to the familiar spot beside Genesis's car. Feeling a bit of pain on her neck, Farrah realized that she had been scratching the rash and apparently drew blood due to the sight of it smeared on her fingertips. It took a moment to force herself out of the car and over to the elevator but it was even more difficult to punch that familiar number and step inside. It brought her one step closer to seeing Genesis, and she wasn't certain if he would be enraged or an emotional wreck. Either way, she wasn't going to be able to handle it well, and more likley that not, with tears. Pulling out her apartment key, Farrah unlocked the door, closing her eyes and taking a few deep breaths before pushing the door open and letting herself in. Setting her things down quietly, she stepped over to the couch where she saw him, unsure if she was going to be yelled at, catch a beating, or just be ignored. She took the spot on the couch next to him and after hesitating for a second grabbed his hand and brought it up to her face. "I'm sorry, Genesis.." She whispered, a few tears seeping out of the corners of her eyes. "I will do anything and everything to make it up to you.. I love you.. I fucked up though. I was hurting.. We were drunk. It wasnt a good combination." She murmured, quickly swiping away the tears that had spilled over, but the attempt was in vain. More followed and moistened her face just as soon as she had wiped the others away.

Genesis didn't look up from the floor, he didn't want Farrah to see how hurt he was. His eyes were red from crying and his face was filled with hopelessness. He jerked his hand back down into his lap when Farrah put it on her face, balling it up in hurt and frustration. "You were hurting? YOU were hurting? Please tell me what hurt you. Because you walked out on me. You told me you were thinking about leaving me, and you left me here all night to worry while you fucked my best friend?" Genesis questioned his voice breaking several times despite him trying to keep it strong and steady. "Why would you get drunk with him?! You know he's a whore! I told you what he wanted and you walked right into it! How could you do that too me? What did I do to make you that unhappy?" He kept the questions coming. He was hurt. He knew Zack was taking the fall, it took two to have sex and Zack wouldn't of forced anyone. He finally rose his head and looked into Farrah's eyes, his eyes quickly shifting to all the marks from the night before. "Oh god." Genesis said quietly as he reached up to touch the marks left by his best friend. "How could you?"

Farrah flenched as Genesis began to raise his voice, quickly making her scoot further away from him on the couch. Despite the fact that she deserved for him to hit her, she was afraid and she couldn't say she wanted a beating. She knew that she had fucked up, and she was tremendously sorry for her indiscretion, but she couldn't take it back and now she had to live with her actions. "I'm sorry.." She whispered, pulling her knees up to her chest and hugging them closely just as she had the night before with Zack. "I was hurting. I was and still am upset over my mother's death. And then you said you didn't want to have kids. I took it as you didn't want to be stuck with me all your life. I was just here until you found something better. Someone better. I got drunk to numb my pain. I didn't know what was going to happen. And I'm sorry, Genesis.. I'm so sorry." She murmured, the tears beginning to well up in her eyes and pour over. "It's not an excuse.. and I know I've hurt you.. beyond repair I'm sure." She continued quietly, her eyes fixed on his fist. She at least wanted to expect the pain she was going to recieve.

"You didn't know what was going to happen if you got drunk off your ass with someone you know is a whore?" Genesis asked dumbfounded, he knew Farrah was smarter than that. "Sorry doesn't fix it. Sometimes you have to suck it the fuck up and act like an adult. I love you, I try to protect you, to keep you safe from yourself and apperently this is where it gets me. You know how bad withdraws from coke hurt? You know how much it sucks to have 17 god damn families toss you back to a shelter and say they don't want you anymore? I grew the fuck up and dealt with it. It's life, you have to learn to do it. You can't fucking run from your problems and expect them to go away. They find you and catch up to you. You knew it was a bad idea to go over there. You did it anyway. I can't fucking forgive you for that. ever." Genesis said, hardly able to take breathes between sentances. He walked into the kitchen and gripped onto the edge of the counter, needing to get his frustration out, he just wanted something other than the current situation to focus on.

Farrah darted to the bathroom, trying to empty her stomach but due to the fact she hadn't eaten anything in quite a while, nothing came up. The anxiety she felt from the hatred dripping from Genesis's voice killed her, and she wasn't sure what on earth she was going to do. She had forgotten to mention that Jason had been released from jail and had called her from a new number while she was out the first time, but what did it matter anymore? She wasn't going to have that fairy tale ending like she dreamed of. It wasn't going to be with Genesis. Not when he hated her so incredibly much. Pushing herself up from the floor, she stepped toward the kitchen, only standing in the doorway, out of his way in order to give him space. "Do you hate me?" She asked in a whisper. She was sure of the answer, but she wanted to know for certain before she discussed any plans with him. She was debating on moving out, making things easier on him, but god she wanted nothing more than to live here, to wake up to him every morning. "What do you want from me, Gen? Tell me what's going to happen from here.." She choked out, straing down at the floor in shame and watching her tears splash against the hardwood. She wasn't crying - it was sobbing.