Abducted, My Dear.

"I had been clean when I meet her." Genesis stated, composing himself once again, though flinching slightly when Sierra had moved her hand so fast. "I stayed clean. But. When I found out she had slept with Zack, I started drinking again. Then, when she she found out she was pregnant. I started back on coke. I needed something to numb how shitty I felt. After she passed, coke wasn't enough. And I started using heroin." He hated himself for it. He wished he could of been clean, but he needed something so he wouldn't self destruct. He supposed drinking and drugs were just another form of self destruction. It was better to feel nothing at all than misery. "He sounds like he was a great guy." Genesis replied, his voice was soft and sympathetic. Genesis wished he could of started out life over, or at least his teenage years. He would of stayed clean. He would of stayed away from the friends he had.

Sierra smiled slightly at how fondly Genesis seemed to be, almost a bit of happiness would glimmer before sadness would consume him. But in that brief moment, there was no denying how strongly of an influence she had been in his life. "I wish I could have met her. She seemed lovely." She murmured, offering him a sincere smile. "Have you dated since she passed?" Sierra questioned. It was difficult for her to move on since John's death, but she had attempted to go on a few dates much to Zack's insistance. Needless to say, the men ran screaming bloody murder by the time the dates were over much to her pleasure. "I did. but. It was more a game of how quickly I could run people off. I was never serious about it." The recollection of those memories actually induced a bit of light-hearted laughter, something she hadn't done in quite a long time.

Genesis shook his head, and brought one knee up to his chest, resting his chin on it. "I feel like I'd be trying to replace her. I don't want that. No one could ever replace her." He didn't believe in a higher power or afterlife, but if there was one, he didn't want Farrah feeling like he had forgotten her and moved on. Farrah had been Genesis' world. He adored her. Loosing her was a big hit, but loosing her after everything else was an even bigger one. He didn't want to move on. He had given up. He didn't want anyone else. He had lost himself now. He had lost any reason to live. He had no family. All his friends had betrayed him or left. Farrah was gone. He had a mediocre job at a tattoo parlour to fuel his drug addiction. But other than that. No one would miss him if was gone. No one would care. He didn't have anyone. He sighed heavily. He was a mess and he knew it. But he had no reason to fix it.

Sierra sat silently as she thought over what Genesis had said. She too felt as if she dated, she may be replacing John and that was the last possible thing she wanted. However, lately, she craved human companionship again, and the only reason it didn't consume her with guilt was due to the fact that she knew John wouldn't want her to be miserable and alone for the rest of her life. "You're young.. Don't you think she would want you to find happiness? I don't believe she would veiw it as you replacing her, no one could fill her place, nor would you allow them to. But don't you think she's good enough, loving enough, to want you to find peace and move on? Live a better life than the one you're living now?" She questioned, taking a lock of his copper coloured hair between her fingers and examining it carefully. It didn't take long to notice what she had done, and the realization brought colour to her cheeks. "I'm sorry.. habit." It wasn't a planned action, and she had hoped that it hadn't offended him in any way. Mostly Sierra hoped that it wouldn't upset him. That was the last thing she wanted to do to this fragile man.

Genesis had no plans to react to the gentle touch of someone playing with his hair. He missed affection dearly but he refused to allow himself any, he didn't feel like he deserved it. He had driven everyone away. "I've got myself into this too deep. There isn't anything left to live for. I might be young, but I'm not young enough to change everything my life has been about. I can't make a better life. I've dug my grave and I'll die in it." Genesis said simply, excepting his fate. Even if he got clean, he had a record. People knew his name. Word would get out and he'd get back in trouble through no fault of his own. He was terrified to let anyone back in his life for fear they would leave just like everyone else had. "I know she'd want me to be happy, but. She knows I was already too far gone to help when she passed away." He had been so bad into drugs trying to deal with the fact he was going to have to raise another man's child that was concieved by cheating.

Sierra couldn't help but disagree with Genesis here. "I'm afraid you're never too far gone to change.. It's just. You have to believe in yourself. Or someone else has to do it so incredibly much that. You'd do anything for them. Just to make them happy. And in that you learn you are worthy." She firmly believed in the words she spoke, but she had to admit she hadn't had anyone to prove her right since her fiance's death. The idea of both her and Genesis ending up being miserable until the days of their death deeply affected Sierra. She didn't believe anyone, not even those who were filthy bastards, murderers, and rapists, deserved misery their entire lives. "Do it for her, Genesis. That's one last thing, one final gift. That you'd be doing for her. Dont you think she deserves it?" She questioned, quickly wiping her eyes before she turned her gaze back to Genesis. The quesiton was just as much for him as it was for herself, and she desperately hoped he caught onto that. That her words werent just words, utter nonsense, but in fact something she planned on following through just as she planned to push him.

Genesis looked at her with concern when he saw her wipe at her eyes, reaching out and placing his hand on hers for a moment. "I might be able to. But I have no will. I have nothing if I get clean. I'd rather be dead than clean. If I go through all the heartbreak sober, and I do manage to get clean. There is nothing left for me. I have no family. No friends, except for a few drug addicts. I could never get a good job again because of the tattoos and record. I don't have anything if I do get clean." Genesis stated, his voice was tired. He had accepted the fate long ago. "Farrah deserves everything I could ever possibly give her. I love her. But. I don't have anything if I do get clean. I could never make it in this world again." He finished, empty hearted. He was an alcoholic and a drug addict, a felon on top of that. He'd never find another well paying job. And he'd never find anyone like Farrah.

Sierra was relieved by the first gentle human contact she had come across in quite sometime, savoring the time Genesis had left his hand upon hers. Much to her disbelief, it was by none other than her abductor. But he was a man with a kind heart, and one she wished to see more of during her time with him in the basement. "If you really wanted to die, truly thought there was no reason to live, to fight for, you wouldn't still be here. You know there's more to life than this. And if you don't? Then you know Farrah wanted that for you. Because you have the power to over dose. You have a way to end this. But you're still here. Do what she wants. Try to make yourself a decent life. Be happy to the best of your abilities. I know it's what she would want." Sierra's voice was shaky much to her distaste, but it was better to have a few tears running along her cheeks than falling apart in front of this man. He had enough to handle, and she wasn't about to break down and have him comforting her when he was in pain. Sniffling, Seirra began to compose herself. "How am I supposed to communicate with you if I'm stuck down here? Walky talky? Seems more logical than a phone.. I could always call for help that way. And one day of keeping me hostage is hardly the death penalty." She insisted, remembering the punishment Genesis longed for, but the one she was certain to prevent him from getting.

Genesis reached back out for her, he didn't want to see her upset or crying. Maybe he should of thought that one over before kidnapping her. He decided not to mention anymore on the fact of death. He wasn't able too overdose, he had built up a high tolerance, and he didn't have the cash that it would take to get enough for him to overdose on. He had tried with guns, but his hands shook too badly. Especially when he was nervous or stressed. And they had gotten so bad at that point he dropped the gun. He didn't want to go through the physical and emotional pain getting clean would take, only to be met with nothing. Genesis nodded about the walky talkies, he knew he had some laying around the house somewhere. It was just a matter of finding them. "Yeah. I'll get one to you. If you need anything. I'll get it." He offered putting his hand back over hers and offering her a smile.

Sierra laced her fingers through his, greatful for the kindness he showed her. This had been the only time in the past two years she had opened up and became personal with someone. Then again, it was also the first time she was forced to have human contact and ironically enough it was with someone who had several similaities in their life. "I must say you're my favourite kidnapper. Too bad there aren't more like you around. I say I got rather lucky with you as my abductor." Sierra offered, nudging his side lightly with her elbow playfully. Despite the tense atmosphere from earlier, she could tell there was still a bit of a playful side to Genesis. Every now and then she could catch a glimmer of what was Genesis before it became masked again, as if he knew he was slightly happy, or if not that, stable.

Genesis gave her hand a gentle squeeze. A knot of guilt began to over run him though as it twisted in his stomach. He hadn't allowed himself to feel relaxed or at ease in what was nearly two years. And on top of that, he was mostly sober. He didn't deserve this. No, not at all. He didn't deserve happiness or love or friendship or kindness. He so desperately wanted it though. He did his best to hide a pained expression and offered Sierra a smile, though forced. "I told you, I don't want to hurt you or scare you. It's not what I'm after. I'll take care of you. It's not my nature to be aggressive or violent." That was true, except for the fact he had a horrible temper when he was doped on heroin, nearly anything would set him off. Coke? He was relatively normal, of course he would stay up for days, but if anything it made him happier. And Alcohol just made him the stereotypical fall all over the place drunk.

Relaxing her hand, Sierra gently undid the grip of their hands. Not only had she begun to feel a bit guilty with Genesis's company, but she sense he too had become a little bit anxious over it all. "Baby steps" Sierra thought to herself, wrapping her arms around herself. She sought out friendship in the redhead, but she didn't know how easily he would give into her advances. She supposed only time would tell with him. "It's getting rather late. I think I'll go to bed now. I"ll see you tomorrow?" Sierra questioned, pushing herself up from the floor and glancing down at Genesis. She needed a bit of time to herself. Adjusting to a possible new friend was emotional tug of war with her, and not only did she want sleep, but she needed enough time to map out how far the friendship would take her. "Do you mind if I could get a shirt to sleep in? I'm sort of limited in the wardrobe department." She aditted playfully, knowing he knew full well she didn't have any other clothing but the ones she wore on her back.

Genesis nodded, not speaking a word, as he rose up from the floor and exited the small room. He was tired and every step was heavy and required far to much effort. He made his way to the second floor of the old, run down victorian house. The stairs creaked with any weight set on them. Genesis rummaged through a pile of clothes finding a clean tshirt that did not smell of alcohol or smoke and returned to the basement. "Here" He stated softly, handing the plain gray v-neck to Sierra before turning and leaving the basement. He hardly made it to the couch before he crashed. He felt the sicking effects of sober now that he was alone. Tears ran down his face as his own mind betrayed him and listed every reason why he did not deserve to live.

Sierra watched after him, noticing that he had left the door open as he exited the room she had been given. What on earth possessed him that gave him the idea she could be trusted? He had hardly known her after all. Confused, she leaned against the wall, reeling over how scarred this man really had to be in order to hold a person captive in order to recieve the death penalty. All thoughts were deterred though as she noticed the soft grey fabric that not rested in her own hands. "Thank you.. I suppose I'll see you tomorrow." She murmured as she turned toward the small bathroom for refuge. She couldn't help but cast one sad glance over her shoulder at his retreating body. She could be a bitch, but she had a heart, and knowing their lives were similar made her signicantly nicer to this poor man.

Genesis awoke mid-afternoon, the sun was shining in his eyes and it wasn't a pleasant feeling. A hangover was what he was met with. He stumbled across the cluttered floor to the blinds, shutting them to block the light out before he made his way up stairs to the shower. He showered quickly, just long enough to get the smell of alcohol off him and wash his hair. He towel dried his hair and pulled boxers, jeans and a Devil Wears Prada shirt on. He felt sick. Sick knowing what he had done and sick from the lack of toxins in his body. He clumsily plodded down the steps into the kitchen which had numerous liquor bottles littered all over the floor as he grabbed a beer out of the fridge before heading back down into the basement. He knocked before he opened the door. "Sierra?" He questioned softly.

Sierra was surprised by the knocking at her door. The song she had been singing was now cut off and her face was flushed with embarassment as she noticed Genesis had not only knocked, but also let himself in. "um. Hey." She mumbled, snatching the ponytail off her wrist and pulling her hair up into a messy bun in an attempt for something to do. "So um. I was thinking. Do you mind if I order some clothes online? You can sit through it so I don't send out an SOS e-mail or whatever." Sierra offtered, crossing her legs on the bed before giving him an uncomfortable smile. It wasn't that she didn't feel safe around him, it was the fact that she hadn't ever sung in front of anyone, including her deceased fiance.

Genesis stepped back out of the basement for a second and came back with an acer laptop in hand. "Here. I don't need to watch. I'll trust you." Genesis knew trusting her was probably a stupid move on his part, but he didn't want to be someone Sierra grew to hate and despise. He was looking for friendship either. Just neutral. He took a sip from his beer and sat down on the stairs. "I have to go to work in a couple hours. Do you need anything while I'm out or before then?" This was Genesis sober. He could speak coherently and cover up the fact that he was an emotional catastrophe. He could walk in straight lines and he didn't reek of alcohol and cigarette smoke.

Grasping the laptop, Seirra opened up FireFox and began surfing the web for various clothing stores. She felt bad about asking Genesis for anything, but she supposed she should take advantage of it while he was being polite to her. "Am I ordering this off of my credit cards or yours? It's smarter to use yours. They can trace where I am if I use mine and have it delievered here." She questioned, ignoring his inquery about if she required anything while he left for work for a breif moment. "Also, do you think you could snag birth control for me? That and tampons. I assume I'll be here longer than a week so it's kind of a requirement." She admitted, not looking up at his face. She knew she didn't need birth control to prevent pregnancy, but she did need it for her insane periods. Besides, who knew when or if he decided to have his way with her. Or some other man she encountered? She wasn't ready to have a child, not now, and she wasn't certain if she ever would be. Her personality had shifted from last night's, just as his had. Previously they had been intimate with one another. Now they had slipped into a more professional way of handling things. Perhaps it was because neither of them wanted to become too close. That always called for pain.

Genesis tossed his wallet at her, it landed just beside her. A half smile crossed his face at his skill. "Yeah. Sure." He ran his hands through his copper hair as he slugged back the rest of his beer. Sobriety never lasted long for him. He couldn't be too intoxicated though. He had work. And you needed to be at least half sober in order to stab needles through people. The owners were at least not total dumb asses, they'd let him do piercings when he was high or drunk but not tattoos. Those were permanent and if he was to drunk to walk a straight line he was too drunk to draw one as well. But they still let him come to work high off his ass all the time. Last night had made him realized just how badly he missed affection in any form. It felt good to have someone to talk to, to have some trace his tattoos and play with his hair. He'd continue to deny himself happiness though.

Grasping the wallet that had landed beside her, much to her surpise due to his shaky hands, Sierra glanced up at him with a small smile. "What's my limit? You know, women and credit cards just don't mix unless you intend to depelte your resources." She offered, casting him a self-satisfied smile. She hadn't had the chance to go shopping for quite a while, and she was pleased to be able to at least have the ability to buy herself something, even if it weren't much. Who knew, maybe he'd surprise her. Searching through Victoria's Secret, she opened a few tabs in which were her favourite picks. She for one, wasn't going to go without underwear. She had never been the type to, and she wasn't going to start now. "What do you do anyway? For work, I mean." She questioned, adding a few things to her bag online.

"$350?" Genesis asked it as a question more than anything. He didn't know how much she needed. He supposed his job did pay well, just not when you factored his addictions in. "If you go over that, it's fine. Just less drug money and I don't exactly need that according to you." He offered her a glimmer of a smile. He had decided that he would attempt to get clean but it wasn't going to happen over night. He was just going to have to start cutting back little by little. Then hopefully he could make something of himself. "I work at a tattoo parlor. Depending on how intoxicated I am I do everything from reception to tattoos." He said as he grabbed a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and lit one. He doubted he would ever stop smoking. It was an awful habit but the least destructive of them all.

Ordering what she wanted from Victoria's Secret, Sierra moved onto a few other sites searching for something she could get away with wearing in the cold autumn nights and possibly days as well. It wouldn't be too terribly difficult with the money he had set aside for her, but more so, she knew she would spend a bit more than that lump sum. She didn't enjoy his use of drugs, and much to her surprise, he didn't mind that she had the ability to diminish that money. Sierra hopped up from the bed, and made her way over to Genesis. She couldnt resist but reaching into his pocket for a cigarette of her own. It had been a way to cope with life for a long time, but became a habit over the years. Thought she didn't smoke too often, she did have urges, like right now. "Lighter?" She questioned, holding her hand out before lighting her own cigarette. She was hesitant to admit to herself, but she enjoyed his company.

Genesis jumped back slightly as she reached for a cigarette, he was startled he hadn't been used to someone being comfortable to just reach in his pockets though he recomposed himself quickly. He reached in his pocket on his own this time and lit her cigarette for her. Genesis didn't smoke often, a pack would last him two weeks, sometimes more sometimes less. Sierra had managed to bring him out of the hollow shell he had retreated into, even if it was just a little bit. He was fine with Sierra spending his drug money. He couldn't buy drugs without it, and they both knew it was better off spent of a pair of shorts than some coke.

Taking a puff off of her cigarette, Sierra studied Genesis. He seemed almost intimidated by her, and yet completely at ease all the same. Closing her eyes, she rested her head against the wall and focused on the quiet sound of the his breathing. It was relaxing, not having to live in total silence as she had for the past three years. Pushing herself away from the wall, she gave a pointed glance toward the doorway. "Do you mind if I go explore the house? Maybe cook something while you're gone? I won't leave. Scout's honor." A soft smile crossed her lips at the offer to stay put in this strange man's home. He was pretty hospitable though, and she had no intention to leave when he was giving her the attention she so desperately craved but had rejected for so many years.

"Go ahead, it's a mess though. Especially the kitchen. Don't trip over anything." Genesis gave a word of warning as he moved aside for her to go up. The house was an old Victorian, it had what most realtors would call 'character' but what he called age. It had been a stunning home in it's day but not anymore, that was why he was able to acquire it so cheap. It would be beautiful with some restoration work, but that was not something Genesis had any time or will to do. He did not know why he trusted Sierra, well to be honest he didn't. But he was going to have a hard time being mean to her, he just couldn't do it she was in the same predicament as him and he knew how horrible it felt. She had just found a much better way on managing the pain.