Abducted, My Dear.

Sierra numbly followed Genesis's lead toward the counter, allowing herself to be dragged along wherever he went. With or without his consent, she felt this dire need to have him close to her, physically and emotionally. So far, the only breakthrough was that the two of them allowed one another to hold or be held, though they would have to work on speaking openly and clearly. Though, in order to do so, they would actually have to form the words first. Sierra began to collect herself slightly as he kept her close, but it took several more minutes before she could configure what she wanted needed to say. "I'm terrified to lose you. And with the way you were talking, insisting I don't care or that you would better be off dead? That really cut me to the core. You matter. But I'm scared to love you. I fear that I won't be enough for you or for you to see I want you here. And that I need you." Sierra refused to look up as she spoke softly, apprehensive about how her words would affect Genesis.

Genesis shook his head lightly as he rested his head on Sierra's shoulder, hunched down a little to be short enough for that. "You don't know me. I'd love to have someone in my life again, but the fact of it is, I'm worse for you than you could possibly imagine. I get high everyday, and when I'm not high, I'm drunk. Those are the only times I feel even close to okay. You can do better than that and you deserve better than that. It might hurt to hear the truth, but there isn't anything left for me. I fucked up in this life too many times." Genesis spoke plainly and simply, his voice calm as he was almost detached from the words. He had accepted his fate an resigned himself to it. He didn't see the point in dragging his misery out over 40 or 50 years, whatever he had left naturally. It couldn't of been much more than that with the way he had abused his body for years and years.

Sierra shook her head as she listenend to his explanation. No, he wasn't too far gone. Genesis wasn't a horrible person. He had problems, but everyone did. And his just happend to be far more than anyone should have to deal with. It was understandable how he dealt with things, but it wasn't something she supported. "You're not worthless. Okay? You matter to me. And I don't care who out there disagrees with me. I don't care if you disagree with me. But if all else fails, you have one person in this world who cares for you. Who will fight for you. And she is not going anywhere without a fight. Do you hear me?" Sierra questioned. By now she had Genesis's head in her hands, staring deeply into his eyes with determination and a twinge of saddness at his lack of security in the world and his even more feeble faith in her.

Genesis saw no point in arguing any further with a clearly determined Sierra. He simply nodded and offered her a hollow smile followed by a simple "Okay." He wasn't going to upset Sierra, that would just make him feel worse about himself. He didn't want to argue or fight or bicker. He was exhausted and he wanted to sleep. "I'm going to sleep." He said already half dazed. He felt numb and tired, the emotions he had been going through wore him out physically. He wasn't use to it. He was use to not being sober all day and solving his problems with drugs and alcohol. He trudged up the stairs and flopped onto the bed, he was unable to find sleep despite his exhaustion. He felt guilty about blowing off Sierra, but she had to delusional to think he was worth a shot, especially after he had kidnapped her.

Sierra slumped down onto the hardwood, loosing herself in thought after Genesis had departed. She wanted nothing more than to prove to this man that he meant something to this world, to her world. So far, she had gotten a few breakdowns and a very detatched Genesis in her attempts. Sierra reached to her left and pulled open the refrigerator, fumbling for a bottle of liquor to ease her mind. At the rate her anxiety was going, the house was going to have holes scrubbed through the floorboards due to vigorous cleaning. She had to find another source of calming herself, and alcohol always had a special way of seducing her into a more collected state of mind. Turning the bottle up to her lips, she took a drink of whiskey for the first time in years. She had sworn off liquor throughout her pregnancy and even after her child's and fiance's deaths, she lived in denial, still holding true to keeping her body healthy for baby. It was about an hour before Seirra pulled herself up from the floor and stumbled up the staircase toward Genesis's bedroom. "Why don't you believe me?" She questioned, leaning into the doorway for support. Her speech was slurred slightly as she crawled onto the bed clumsily, too intoxicated to give a damn at her disshevled appearance.

Genesis had been curled up on his side when Sierra entered the room, he didn't have to turn around to know she was drunk. That was his fault. He should of thrown all the alcohol out of the house when she told him too. Then she wouldn't of broken her sobriety. This wouldn't of been a problem. If he just wouldn't be so fucking selfish. But he knew that while Sierra may of wanted him for a while, that wouldn't be forever and he couldn't go through that kind of heartbreak again. He couldn't. "Sierra..." He started softly as he got up from the bed and made his way towards her, gently pulling her towards the bed before she got hurt or fell over something. His house wasn't the cleanest. "It's not that I don't. It just hurts too much too." He sat down on the bed, guiding Sierra down beside him. He needed to fix the problem he had created.

Sierra's fight against Genesis pulling her toward the bed was insubstantial due to the drunken state she found herself engulfed in. Lying back against the bed, she stared up at him with hurt, questioning eyes. "So you do believe me, but it hurts too much?" She questioned, laughing in disbelief. "Okay. Did you ever once think about how it hurt me? How I feel undeniably guilty, but I'm trying. See this tattoo?" Sierra questioned, raising her shirt to reveal the name of her fiance on her ribcage that was printed underneath the bra she wore. "Those memories don't ever go away. And yet. Even though it kills me every day, I push forward. Why? I see something in you, okay? You made me believe that life was worth living again. That I could be happy. And you don't care. You really don't have to be such a selfish ass about it." She muttered, pulling the hem of her shirt down.

Sierra's words didn't help Genesis at all. They cut deeper. He knew Sierra was hurting, but, she had made her choices and he had made his. Sierra wanted to fix her life and push on. Genesis didn't. He was done. Waking up hurt. Breathing hurt. Having his heartbeat hurt. All the emotional pain was so bad it had became physical. He needed drugs and alcohol to even feel close to okay. Sobriety was not an option for him. He was just trying to carry on long enough until he got the money to overdose or someone else killed him. Who was Sierra to kick him while he was already so far down? Genesis didn't talk, instead he bit his lip to prevent himself from bursting out in a string of obscenities. He lost his temper though. "Shut the fuck up! Do you hear me?! SHUT THE FUCK UP." His voice grew louder and boomed through the house, his fist hit the wall several times in succession, breaking through the drywall and bloody-ing his knuckles. It sounded like it didn't belong to the normally quiet and docile man.

Sierra stared at Genesis, a brief flash of terror seeping through before anger coursed through her veins. She had been honest, he had even told he that he enjoyed having her nearby, to talk to. Heaven forbid she was kind to him, because he had an emotional breakdown. If she were a bitch? He lashed out in anger so severe she was genuinely afraid. "Shut the fuck up?! I don't fucking think so, Genesis. See, you get to be vulnerable. You get to be angry and upset. But I can't tell you how I feel? I can't say that you're important to me? Oh, that's really classy, honey. Getting so pissed off that I love you and deciding to yell and degrade me. Not to mention fuck the wall up and probably break your knuckles. You're full of shit, you know that?" She shouted, shoving him once before angrily removing herself from the bedroom and making her way toward the staircase. She was pissed, but moreso she was hurt. He could need her, but she couldn't need him. She wasn't good enough to matter. Nice reality check. Good men still didn't exist.

Genesis had his hands placed on the wall as he breathed heavily, the blood dripping from his knuckles onto the hardwood floor. He quickly pulled on whatever tee shirt happened to be closest and a dark gray jacket on over that. Had Sierra not even taken notice of his efforts to allow her to get closer? Did that not mean anything? He allowed her to be upset, he tried to comfort her and give her what she needed. But not when she came after him like this. That just hurt. She had asked him to give up what had been keeping him sane for the past 2 years. He couldn't do that, he'd be stupid to do that. And she was mad at him over that. Genesis didn't pay attention to the 'I love you', she didn't know him, she couldn't love him. He wasn't going to let her play his emotions like that. He stormed down the stairs not far behind Sierra, grabbing his wallet off the counter before heading out the door.

Sierra's blood was boiling as the sound of Genesis's footsteps trailed behind her on the staircase. She didn't know what exactly prompted such a harsh reaction, but being drunk and having someone yell at her wasn't exactly the formula for heaven on earth. She ran her fingers through her hair before screaming. She was exhausted. She was breaking down her walls because there was just something special about this man. But maybe she found him special for the wrong reasons. He was kind-hearted. Sometimes. He had a temper that went from zero to eighty in a millisecond. He was broken, like her. But she was learning she couldn't save everyone, couldn't fix someone unless they wanted to be fixed. Sierra shoved the books off of the coffee table before trashing the place up a bit more. It wasn't disgusting, just messy. Precisely as she had found the home. Now it would be like she never existed, never came in and fell apart in front of him, for him. It looked as nothing had changed before her appearance, just as nothing had changed in his heart.

Genesis walked down back alleys of the not-so-great parts of town. They were familiar twists and turns though. He knew his way to the drug houses well. He knocked on the door and was met by a shady character. Genesis was recognized almost immediately by the man and was let into the house with no further questions. He exchanged money and a bag of white powder was given to him. Genesis snorted the powder before he left, being caught with drugs wasn't exactly something he wanted. He hated himself now. More than before. He sighed as he left the house, stumbling through the streets in the direction of a former friend's house. About half way there, he collapsed, his body seizing. The next thing in his memory is waking up in a hospital immobilized, attached to cords and monitors, a tube down his throat. A call was being placed by hospital staff to his home.

Sierra was halfway through a cigarette when the house phone brought about agonizing pain from her hangover. Murmuring a soft string of profanities underneath her breath, she began searching the the device through the dissheveled mess she had recreated in an absurd attempt to put things back to where they were before she had walked into Genesis's life. Finally finding it underneath an opened, now ruined book, Sierra answered it. "Hello?" Her voice was hoarse, harsh, but her tone instantly changed at the voice on the other line. "Yes, I-I live with him. What room number? Yeah, I'm on my way.." Dropping the phone onto the couch, Sierra scrounged up a pair of shoes and grabbed the spare house key she had stumbled across on a previous cleaning. Zipping up Genesis's jacket, she took off at a jog, hoping to reach the hospital in town as quickly as her feet and vertically challenged legs could carry her.

Genesis was fairly useless at this point. He couldn't speak for a tube in his throat. Both his arms had needles in them. His legs were tangled in a mess of cords. He could blink and even that was iffy since he was fading in and out of consciousness and every so often, his body would begin to involuntarily shake. Occasionally due to anxiety, the other times minor seizures. No question what had gone wrong. Botched drugs. In fact he was lucky that this was the second time it had happened with all his drug usage. This could be a good thing though. This was what had gotten him clean the first time. Being in an environment where he could not get drugs. Regardless of how badly he craved them. There was no source for them. He knew he was fucked though when he could vaugley hear Sierra's voice echoing through the hallway before he passed out once more.

Sierra quickly made her way to the nurse's station, frantically searching for the room number Genesis had overtaken. She pushed the door open slowly, worried what sort of state Genesis would be in once he came into view. Her heart quickly sank at his nearly lifeless from. Monitors were making various noises, IV fluids were hooked up as well as a heart monitor and several other machines she was unfamiliar with. She decided to pull the uncomfortable and unattractive chair closer to the hospital bed and an unresponsive Genesis. Sierra took a deep breath as she grasped his hand gently in between hers. "I'm sorry.. I'm sorry about what I said. And how I acted. I'm aware that I was wrong, but I know I did it to push you away out of fear. I finally feel close to someone. I finally felt accepted by someone. And I screwed it up. Now you're here. And you aren't doing so good. That's my fault." She murmured, leaning down to kiss the top of his hand before she rested her head against some of the free space on the bed next to him.

Genesis in a half-unconscious state was able to hear parts of words, they were fuzzy though and at different pitches. His hand twinged at being picked up, it was mostly because the motion shoved the needle from the IV further into his arm, but he wasn't conscious enough to do much else about it. Twenty or so minutes later, he was conscious again, slightly doped but awake and alert. He could feel Sierra's head next to him, and when he flickered his baby blues to the side, he could see her hair and the fuzzy outline of her shoulder. He hated himself more than ever. He had done this to her. He was putting her through this kind of stress all over again. Sierra didn't deserve this. Not at all. The physical pain was pretty bad, but knowing the kind of shit he was putting Sierra through and not being able to do a damn thing but lay there helplessly and in regret.

Sniffling, Sierra pressed her lips lighlty to the top of his hand, avoiding all needles and tape in the process. She wiped her eyes quickly before rising from the seat, finding herself looking around the room. First examining the view outside of the room Genesis was now housed in. It was pretty at least, a nice view of cherry blossoms in full bloom. Though pretty, she couldn't stand still for far too long, the anxiety and silence was driving her to her wit's end. Her feet finally found themselves glued to the floor in front of the whiteboard with the nurse's name and telephone number for this particular room. Beside it were papers in various colours with restrictions, information about his current condition, probnosis, and a list of doctors who had seen him since his arrival. Deciding she was going to stay the night at the hospital, she stepped out of the room and requested a blanket to keep warm, smiling slightly at the elderly nurse that wished her and the patient the best.

Genesis wasn't sure if Seirra even knew he was awake, not that it mattered, he couldn't do much even if she did know. He couldn't talk to her, kiss her, hold her or perhaps most importantly, comfort her. Drugs had fucked him over this time, just like they had done before. They screwed up his life. He should of listened to Sierra and Farrah and given them up a long time ago, not just given them up for a short time only to fall back on the crutch, he should of given them up for good. He should of grown some balls and been strong enough to rely on himself when things got tough and not run away and get high. But he wasn't and now he ended up here. Hurting the one person in the world who might of given a damn about him

Sierra pulled out the uncomfortable sleeper sofa that she would call her bed for the night. She neatly laid the blanket out and tossed the pillow at one end before grabbing the second blanket and opened it up before gently draping it across Genesis's body. Earlier she had noticed a slight tremor, but if that were from being cold or side effects from his latest batch of drugs, she likely would never know. She perched herself on the side of the bed and with shaky, yet gentle fingers, Sierra brushed the hair from his face. "I don't know if you can hear me but. You have to come back, Gen. I'm not good at being alone, keeping myself out of harm's way. I started feeling as if I had a purpose again, that maybe I mattered to just one person out of the seven billion on this planet. I don't know what this is with us. But I do know that it matters and makes life a hell of a lot easier. So just open those beautiful blue eyes of yours and come back home." She whispered before she pushed herself up from the bed and began pacing the room absent mindedly.

The words Sierra spoke were present, but very hazy. Consciousness was something Genesis was still fighting for. It came in bouts, but it was never lasted very long. He was weak and worn out from the seizing and the pain. His hands and arms would shake occasionally, but that was due to the drugs. After an hour, he managed to win over his mind and stay awake for long than a few seconds. His eyes looked around the blank hospital room, searching for Sierra the best he could, his vision was blurry and he couldn't turn his head. He managed to make out her figure against the light of the large window in the room. A pain stabbed at his heart, this time though, it was guilt and regret for hurting Sierra. Seeing her like this...it was his fault and he knew it. They both needed a lot of fixing, but he had been running away from any help she had offered. He needed her touch and affections. He wanted to tell her that he was okay. He would pull through. He wanted to comfort her and hold her.

At even the slightest movement the hospital bed uttered, Sierra's head would lurch toward Genesis. Most occasions it would be due to the seizures or the slight trembles as a result from the medications the nurses had been pumping into him intravenosly for the past several hours. None the less, she would turn attentively to him with feeble attempts to keep his body still in order to prevent further damage. This time was differnet though, she could make out light blue eyes gazing in her particular direction. Sierra pushed herself from the windowsill and cautiously patrolled toward the air matress Genesis lay upon. She hadn't stopped to think of how he would react to her being there. Instead, a list of reasons as to why her prescence would be a negatve influence on his health began to build in her mind. Sierra was the reason Genesis had gone out and gotten fucked up the night before. She froze as if her feet had become glued to the floor, and it was difficult to swallow, but she finally gathered the nerve to speak. "Hey.." Sierra whispered.

Genesis' eyes grew wide with fear as he listened to how hesitant Sierra's voice sounded and saw the look in her eyes. What had he done? How could he put the one person who had cared about him through this? Through the same worry and heart break he had been put through when Farrah has in the hospital. He wanted her here. He wanted her more than anything. He just wanted her to be near. It wasn't Sierra's fault he had fucked himself up. It was his. It was his own decision. He was scared Sierra would leave. He didn't want to be here alone. He hated hospitals. The stench of antiseptic, the cold air, the beeping of machines, the needles, all of it. He didn't want to admit it, but he was scared to be alone. Genesis made feeble attempts to reach Sierra's hand, he managed after a few tries. Giving it a squeeze. He wanted her here. She was the only person in his life.

At the slight beckoning of Genesis's hand, Sierra drew near, perching lightly on the uncomfortable hospital chair at his bedside. She was anxious as she laced her fingers through his, terrified she may misread his signals and make things even more tense between the two of them. The moment she felt the frail squeeze of his hand, Sierra began to relax. She kept quite a bit of composure, but her voice broke the next time she was able to speak. "Damn it, Genesis.. You can't do that to me." She murmured, resting her cheek against their hands, staring painfully up at him. Hospitals held a very unspecial place in her heart as well, so getting a call that required her prescence was less than a thrilling outing in her opinion. Sierra began to gently rub circles on the top of his hand with her thumb now, drilling her mind for the right questions to ask him. "Are you feeling okay? Do you want a glass of water? Maybe something to eat?" She was restless to find ways to comfort him both out of worry and lack of sleep. She knew she could have left and gone home, but she was determined to be there when he opened his eyes.

Just as Sierra had begun to speak, two nurses who looked fresh out of med school, one blonde and another brunette, came in to remove his ventilator. They gave Sierra a disheartened look, as if to say 'why would you be with someone who is as doped out at he is?". It had been there because of the seizing, but since that had since stopped except for in very minor bouts in his hands and legs, the doctor had decided to remove it, along with a few IVs. It hurt. Genesis twinged as the nurses removed the tube in his throat in the most gentle manner they could. He coughed several times-violently. Some blood came up with the coughs before he downed a glass of water as fast he could. At least now, he was able to sit up, talk a little. The redheaded nurse scribbled some notes down on a clipboard before hooking it back to a corkboard on the wall. "I'm so sorry Sierra." Genesis choked the words out, his throat hurt and his voice was hoarse. He grasped her hand even tighter. He was so scared to loose her.

Sierra couldn't bite back a dirty look toward the young nurses who gave her such a pitiful look. They would see several people in far worse condition than Genesis in their lifetime, so the looks they had cast her were completely unneccessary in her opinion. Unless they showed sympathy and concern, she cared not to see their faces while Genesis would be residing here. The strange noises coming from Genesis startled her, instantly grabbing her attention once more. Hushing him slightly, Sierra ran her fingers through the auburn mess of hair that adorned his head. "Gen.. I can't literally love you to death. The using has to stop.. Because this?" She motioned toward his debilitated form, "This isn't okay.. I cannot watch you kill yourself. You're far too important." Sierra began getting choked up. "I sat in a hospital for two weeks with John on life support before I realized that he wasn't here, that he wasn't coming back. Don't make me go through that again with you.. Please?" She begged, turning her head away quickly in an attempt to veil the tears from him.